so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize