The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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