Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
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i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
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I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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