it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
this hospital has no fireball
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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