I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
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If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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