it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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