Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!

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(757): then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?! http://tfl.nu/fmkj

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(323): View more from California

hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.

(323): View more from California

to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.

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(323): hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun. (323): to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend. http://tfl.nu/i9i1

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(518): View more from New York

True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.

(1-518): View more from New York

True? Did she teach you things?

(518): View more from New York

She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.

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(518): True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night. (1-518): True? Did she teach you things? (518): She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am. http://tfl.nu/r18t

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(907): View more from Alaska

the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops

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(907): the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops http://tfl.nu/07bg

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(205): View more from Alabama

When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'

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(205): When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life' http://tfl.nu/863e

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(713): View more from Texas

We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.

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(713): We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love. http://tfl.nu/9dmy

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(914): View more from New York

Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME

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(914): Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME http://tfl.nu/u7n7

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.

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(505): I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time. http://tfl.nu/7aud

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(304): View more from West Virginia

There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.

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(304): There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house. http://tfl.nu/pzrc

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(714): View more from California

I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.

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(714): I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters. http://tfl.nu/itk8

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out

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(505): Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out http://tfl.nu/4j6r

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(217): View more from Illinois

I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.

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(217): I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well. http://tfl.nu/junb

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(775): View more from Nevada

Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show

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(775): Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show http://tfl.nu/uyql

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.

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(724): I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout. http://tfl.nu/bypz

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.

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(860): Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on. http://tfl.nu/xowf

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