Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
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it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
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It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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