can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
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The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
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It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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