I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
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I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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