everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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