You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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