i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize