I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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