It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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