I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize