3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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