So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
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i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
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Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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