I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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