Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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