i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize