We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize