The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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