Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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