I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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