I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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