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Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
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