Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
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he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
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There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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