Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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