So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
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What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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