Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I cockslap morals
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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