Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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