Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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