So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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