I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize