I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize