It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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