If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize