The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
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You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
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Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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