If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
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Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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