Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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