your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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