she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
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I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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