before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
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They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
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I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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