So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
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Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize