so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize