no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
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