All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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