good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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