we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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