Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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